So what's the secret?

My name is "me" and I am an alcoholic. Outside of AA, noone I know understands me, understands what goes on in my head, or wants to know how badly they mess up my head on a daily basis. I try every day to be the best "me" possible and every day I fall short. Do you know what thats like? To always fall short? to never achieve what people think you should? to never be good enough? to always wonder what everyone is thinking about and knowing it is never good?